Opinions Vary
by Phoenix of Starlight
Summary: Xanxus and Squalo are argueing over dinner- Xanxus wants steak, but Squalo wants fish. Does the solution lie with Belphagor? Oneshot.


Opinions Vary~

How many fanfictions have I written so far? *checks* Oh, only four? ._. Huh.  
Ignore my ramblings, they don't matter!

This isn't XS, it's purely for the lolz. This isn't Yaoi, this is PURELY. FOR. THE. LOLZ.  
Have I made myself clear? No? Well, who cares?  
It's a oneshot. Don't ask for more chapters, cause I'll be bored of it by then.  
It's TYL for the sake of having Fran in the fanfic.  
COMMENCE WRITING~!  
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Varia HQ, 7:30 PM.

The whole place was in total chaos. However, for once, Belphagor wasn't the reason for all the trouble. Actually, he and Fran had gone out for a while.

No, there was a much different reason for the uproar this time.

CRASH.

"VOI! XANXUS, DON'T THROW CHAIRS, THAT'S CHEATING!"

"SHUT UP SCUM! IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT!"

Yes, the reason was Xanxus and Squalo.

"Come on, you two, calm down~! No one said we can't have both~!"

"SHUT UP, LUSS, THIS ISN'T YOUR ARGUEMENT!"

*gun fires*

"VOI! DON'T SHOOT THAT THING AT ME!"

"THEN SUCK IT UP AND AGREE TO HAVING STEAK TONIGHT!"

"WE HAD STEAK FOR THE PAST EIGHT DAYS, LET'S HAVE FISH FOR ONCE!"

And, of course, Lussuria was caught in the middle of it, trying to calm the two. Levi was standing right beside Xanxus, thinking that the boss would like to have him there. He was wrong.

"Bossu! You don't need to throw chairs, throw me instead!"

*Levi gets kicked and shot at several times*

Squalo was standing up on the table for some reason, sword pointed directly at Xanxus, while Xanxus had both pistols out and his Ligre Box Weapon on standby. The boss just hated it when Squalo stood up to him. Not that he didn't mind when anyone else stood up to him. It was just that... Squalo could be a bit... loud.

Squalo, on the other hand, didn't mind the arguements. It was when Xanxus started to throw stuff at him. He'd been hit with so many random objects before, he was sure it had to be abuse.

Shark abuse probably wasn't a big deal to anyone though.

"VOI! CAN'T YOU CHANGE YOUR DIET UP JUST A LITTLE?" shouted Squalo, flailing his sword as he usually did to intimidate others. Never did work on Xanxus.

"CAN'T YOU DECIDE ON A DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE?" Xanxus returned.

Squalo was highly offended by that remark.

"VOIII! WHAT THE HELL DOES MY HAIR HAVE TO DO WITH DINNER, XANXUS?" he yelled.

"IT DOESN'T! IT JUST IRRITATES ME!"

"WELL LET'S NOT FOCUS ON MY HAIR, SHALL WE? I SAY WE HAVE FISH FOR DINNER!"

"I SAID STEAK, SCUM!"

*gun fires again*

"Mou, bossu, you don't have to get into such a bad mood, why don't we mix it up a bit and have-"

"STEAKFISH!"

The room fell silent. Belphagor had suddenly walked into the room, holding a shark by its tail.

"Senpai," called Fran, following the prince closely, a fish-filled bag in his hand, "I told you, it's not a steakfish, it's a-"

"STEAKFISH!" Belphagor repeated, cutting off his kouhai. "You cannot convince the prince otherwise."

Fran rolled his eyes. "Senpai, it's called a cow shark. It's one of several sharks in the family Hexanchidae-"

STAB.

Belphagor glared at him. "It's. A. Steakfish. Don't speak nonsense."

"Their skeletons are very similar to those of prehistoric sea-dwelling creatures, and they have an extra gill slit-"

STAB.

"Cut it out, you're scaring the prince," Bel muttered.

"Sorry, senpai."

Meanwhile, Xanxus and Squalo had instantly perked at the prince's description. "Steak...," Xanxus started.

"Fish...?" finished Squalo.

Bel caught the glances the two were giving his catch and grinned. "Only if you pay me."

"Pay him, scum," Xanxus urged his right-hand.

"How much?" asked the shark.

"Shishi~ A thousand euros will do~," the prince replied cheerfully. (1 Euro= approximately $1.65)

"Senpai, it's a fish."

"No, Froggy. It's a STEAKfish."

Squalo hopped off the table, dug out the money from his pocket, and handed it to Bel. "Hey, you actually have money," the prince observed in suprise. He handed Squalo the 'steakfish', and Squalo passed it to Lussuria.

"You better cook this right," he growled.

"Hai hai~!" Lussuria said cheerfully. He then bustled into the kitchen with the cow shark, giggling over the fact that he had something new to cook. Squalo took his seat once more.

"Sorry," he apologized to Xanxus.

"That's fine, you bought," the boss replied. He looked up at the shark. "Get me a drink?" Squalo met Xanxus's gaze, fire in his eyes.

"VOI! GET YOUR OWN BEER, DAMNED BOSS!" Squalo shouted.

"WHY SHOULD I DO THAT, SCUM? YOU'RE THE SUBORDINATE!"

Fran and Bel simultaneously sighed. The kouhai looked up at the blonde and held up the bag of fish. "I'll cook?"

"Shishishi~, of course."

-Owari

It was supposed to be a nonsense story for the lol'z, yet I still couldn't add the slightest of B26. -.-' I'ma bad person.  
Anywho, hope y'all enjoyed this pointless short fic~!


End file.
